Growing up Catholic, something I was taught was to pray for your future spouse. I don't think I really understood why at the time. Now that I'm older I think I'm beginning to understand the main reasons why I was taught this. All in all, praying for a future spouse comes down to trust in the Lord, and—particularly for men—chivalry.
My initial thoughts on this subject had to do with how it applies to men and chivalry, so I'll talk about that first. One of the simplest definitions of prayer is "a petition to God". To pray for a future spouse is to ask God to protect them. Prayer is the only thing you can do for someone you don't know yet. Many example prayers I found online ask God to guard their future partner from temptation, sin, and anxieties. I think that it is quite chivalrous to pray for someone you don't know.
Reflecting on my life, I find I am usually only motivated to pray for my future wife when I think I know who she is. When I've got a crush or in a relationship. As a matter of fact, the idea to write about this only came up because of interest in a girl. To me, using a prayer for your spouse like this semi-consciously changes it into "a prayer for my future wife (who I really hope is Xxxxx)." The idea that—for men—praying for your spouse can be chivalrous begins to crumble because you're not praying for them anymore. I now realize that my future wife needs my prayers all the time, not only when I'm in love (with someone else).
As mentioned above, the idea to write on this subject came from interest in a girl. The crush fell through with her letting me down gently. The childish thing for me to do would be to stop praying for my future spouse. I don't want to stop.
Talking this topic over with friends and doing some research of my own led me to the conclusion that trust in God is the true purpose. As a Christian, I believe that God has a plan for all our lives. I'm still on this planet for a reason (I very nearly died—multiple times), and if a wife and marriage is a part of that, then God will provide. To me, the proof of this comes from Matthew 6:26. "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (NRSVCE) The message of this passage is that God loves all his creation and provides for all his creatures, no matter how small. We are not forgotten. This sort of prayer ought not to be out of desperation, but instead out of trust.
The word vocation describes a divine calling for your life. Particularly within the Catholic church, the two major vocations are to marriage or to priesthood. Particularly for Catholicism, priesthood includes a vow of celibacy—and that can be off-putting for many young men. Speaking from personal experience, myself and presumably many young Christian men really aspire to become husbands and fathers, not often priests. Knowing that God has a plan for our lives that will lead us to true joy, it seems somewhat silly to trust in God for a wife, while rejecting or ignoring a call to the priesthood. Living in this way is a perversion of "Thy will be done" from the Lord's Prayer into "My will be done."
While a prayer for your future spouse is obviously for your spouse, it is also about preparing your heart to be a good spouse yourself. These prayers should include explicitly or implicitly "God I trust you with my future, and I trust your plans for my life—regardless of what it is." I sympathize with the young Christian who really wants a spouse—because I'm part of this group. Our desire for a spouse ought to be subordinate to a desire to please God. In a fruitful relationship, hopefully the husband and wife can grow together in holiness, helping one another grow spiritually.
This is one of my blog posts where I most want to receive feedback on. I only have my personal perspective to speak on, so please contact me. Here are some resources that I think relate to this subject. If what I wrote interested you, consider checking these out.
Marriage of Isaac and Rebekah - Genesis 24:10-21
The Christian Household - Ephesians 5:21-33
Paul to the Unmarried and Widows - 1 Corinthians 7:27
The Creation of Eve - Genesis 2:18-25
The Virtuous Woman - Proverbs 31:10-31
Teaching on Divorce - Mark 10:1-12
How to Pray for Your Future Spouse - Ascension Presents
Theology of the Body - Pope Saint John Paul II
Love and Responsibility - Karol Wojtyła